Our Adventures in NICU...

Have come to an end.
3 weeks after being born, Logan Paige Brugger has come home. We were met at the door to the NICU by his day nurse, Debbie with news that he was officially released and where we went from there.

We had the chance to speak with the Doctor that was on call on how things were going and what came next. We were sent home with formula to add an extra 2 calories to the breast milk he's drinking. No, it's not injected into my boobs before he drinks it...that would be silly and very painful.

For the moment he is still on the bottle and eating 2oz per feeding every 4 hours. It was bitter-sweet. Logan was fed the new formula in the breast milk to make sure that he would be alright eating it since he had been taking 24 calories. After feeding came the longest hour of my life. We had to make sure that he didn't spit it up after the feeding. Instead, he waited to do that when he came home... and to make sure that he got things off to the right start, he aimed for the middle and nailed it!

Beanie did very well with her new brother, though she is still very curious about him. She likes to climed onto the couch while I am feeding Jr and watch. Which is fine...until she's ready to move on to other things...then it gets a little crazy.

My mom flew in Friday to be here to help out and so far I don't know what we would have done without her. She keeps beanie occupied while I change and feed Jr.

I am sorry to leave the NICU (yeah, I know that sounds odd, but if you got to meet these nurses, you would understand). We made a few friends, we also watched a lot of kids go home along with a few kids that have a long road ahead of them. There were mixed feelings about leaving today. We have a premie...I will be in whatever room he's in. Is it too late to check him back in? He had a heart monitor there...if something goes wrong...there are trained people there to deal with it. Here...hello 9-1-1!

So for the next few days we will try to get into a routine, see the doctor for the first time and if we are lucky...a walk or two outside. So for now...it'll be sleepless nights wondering if everything is alright and paying for the lack of sleep the next day!

Life is not only great, it's amazing and wonderful and most of all.....complete!

More news

So Jr passed the carseat test with flying colors. So you would think that he's ready to go home...nope. We had our first glitch.

Thursday afternoon he decided that he didn't want to eat or nurse. They had to re-tube him or the feeding. The tube came out when he was done, but it set us back another day or so. So far he has been eating good and eating over and above what is expected. We are under the impression that he will be home by Monday. Ug. Just when you think you are home free...you hit a speed bump!

Here's hoping that the next post will be a homecoming post!

The News

So today I was talking with Logan's Doctor...well one of them anyway...and she gave me the ok to bring in the carseat for the carseat test.

So for those of you that are wondering what that means...it means that Logan should be home by the weekend...either Saturday or Sunday. The only thing holding him there is his weight. They are going to watch his weight with just breast milk (either by bottle or directly from the source). Should he start to lose weight...I mean more than just 1-2 ounces, then he will have to stay in the NICU.

Both the doctor and the nurses feel that he will not be there come next Friday. Needless to say both Michael and I are very excited. I can't wait to wake up to feed a baby instead of a noisy pump. The only upside of a pump is I can ignore it for one feeding to get a little more sleep...if i ignore Logan...he just gets louder and louder until someone feeds him!

I have never been so excited and yet so terrified all at the same time. Our son is coming home (hip hurray) Victoria has no idea and loves to throw her baby doll in her toy chest and walk away laughing (could this be a sign of things to come?) Now instead of one child, there will be two. Things are about to get interesting....to say the least.

We will find out in the next 24 hours if he passed or failed the carseat test. Cross your fingers, toes, hair and anything else you can cross that he both passes the test and continues to gain weight!

What's Missing?

Give up? His feeding tube is gone. Last night and today, he has taken a bottle for every feeding without any issues. I even went tonight to try breast feeding again and he latched on like a champ. I have never been so happy. Logan's night nurse said that he should be in the NICU for no more than 2 weeks. We have light at the end of the tunnel.

oh and he weighs over 5 pounds...5 pounds 2 oz to be exact. Grow child grow!

and yes, 3 hours later I am still flying high!

Now for beanie:
She officially weighs 24 pounds with 8 teeth. Her molers are even coming in according to the pediatrician. Very exciting. Nonni and Grandpa sent Victoria a care package for Easter since we were unable to fly out for Easter. One of the items in the package was a new bathingsuit. She put it to good use:

Beanie spent almost an hour in the pool splashing and having a good time. She only slipped once, but she caught herself and managed not to fall on her tush. She had a wonderful time and took a very long nap after.

Cost of pool: $30 Cost of Bathingsuit: $20 Laughing with your child as she splashes in her pool: Priceless. It was great...she was laughing at me laughing at her.

World, We have latch on!

Yup, you read that right!

Today I got the green light to try breastfeeding again. and let me tell you it was amazing. he showed his sister up. He latched on almost immediately and took quite a few gulps before succumbing to sleep. Both the nurse and myself were very immpressed.

I have been authorized...yeah, that's funny and odd to write for me as well, but nontheless, I have been authorized to start breastfeeding once per shift and I am all for it. I still can't believe that Logan latched on right away and it's only his second time trying!

Go Jr go!

March of Dimes

Please click on the link to the right with the great picture of Jeffrey Meehan and support the March of Dimes.

Your generous support helps fund:

Research into stress and other factors that may trigger preterm labor.
Programs to educate pregnant women to recognize the warning signs of preterm labor.
Tools to help health care providers find better ways to detect women who may be at risk for preterm labor.

Thank You for your support!

Where's our child?

I walk into the NICU last night to visit Logan, I look into the first isollet and wonder where his blanket is that we out ontop. Then i take a second look at the kid in there and notice that it's a girl and bigger than Jr is.

So I had 10 seconds of pure terror while I tried to figure out where our child had been moved to. Keep in mind that I had spoken to his nurse about a half an hour ago to let her know that we were on our way to come visit. There was no mention that....

OUR CHILD IS IN THE BACK IN AN OPEN AIR CRIB.!!!!!!!!!

Yup, he has made it out of the isollet and into an open air crib. He is still connected to the heart, breathing and oxygen monitors and he still has his feeding tube, but he's finally in an open air crib. I have never been so excited to see him move. I was so excited to go see him I forgot to wash me hands...yeah, the nurse came running after me to remind me of the whole washing hands thing.

I fed him the first part of his bottle and Michael came in and finished the secind half while I played with Beanie in the waiting room for labor and delivery. It was a very good night to say the least.

and yes, there are more pictures in the picasa picture thing.!

Full Speed Ahead

So today is turning out to be a good day...no wait...a great day. I have been following beanie around the downstairs, taking naps when she goes down and playing airplane with her. I am even playing with the dog to some degree.

It feels good to be back up to speed. There are still a few things that hurt to do...like situps..yeah, like I'm gonna be doing those anytime soon. Though I can't wait to get back into yoga again. i just have to find a dvd that i can do with beanie. We had a good time with the last one, though she wasn't mobile yet...so this time it should get interesting.

I have even started cooking again. I had no idea how much I would miss cooking. The smell in the house, the satisfaction of cooking...if only the dishes would do themselves, life would be even better.

Yeah, I know what you are all waiting for...more pictures and an update on Logan (jr). He's doing well. He is trying the 2 bottle per shift thing again. The first time didn't go so well. He's still in the isollet and on room air. We are even able to dress him to some degree. You should see some of the outfits...yeh I know, you could if I would post some more pictures. I get the hint.

We are just waiting for him to move into an open air crib and to start feeding from a bottle more often. The next step will be to try and breast feed again. The last time didn't go so well. He just looked at me like I was nuts. Hey, he caught in quick! Ha ha ha

Beanie is doing well. She's been having a good time letting me chase her around the house. The nice thing is she takes longer naps and it seems to be easier to get her to go down for bed. She has even learned how to crawl up onto the couch. Yeah, imagine my surprise when she did it. I was shocked, then again, so was the dog who thought she was out of reach...nope, not anymore.

I guess other than that, life is somewhat back to normal. Beanie still has no idea that she has a little brother that someday will come home. That will be very interesting to watch. and yes, we will try to get that on film. I just hope he comes with gloves and a helmit!

Day 4 and counting

This one looks like he's smiling our tired growing boy

So...here's the update:

I got to do Kangaroo Care (skin to skin with Jr). The IV that was in his head (yes...is poor little cute snuggable, hugable, kissable head) has been moved to his right hand. He is off the oxygen completely. They have increased his feedings and will do so over the next 24 hours to 13cc every 3 hours.

For the first time I got to change his diaper, check his temp and snuggle his up something fierce. Actually, he slept, I tried to...sad thing is we both had our mouths open the whole time we were co-sharing my gown that I borrowed from the hospital for Kangaroo care. Oh, and the best part...I got to feed him. Not the way you might think. They have a tube fro outside...in. Right down to his tummy. The milk goes in via gravity at the rate his tummy can take it. It's very odd to watch, but very cool all at the same time. Boy can that kid eat.

It was odd to chege his diaper....very small. We folded a newborn diaper down 2 times to fit him. WOW! He is still a ways away from moving into an open air crib, but it will be here before we know it. He's been doing really well with breathing, temp holding, eating and peeing. I am more than overjoyed with the food and peeing thing. It's all very exciting.

I call every night before I go to bed and every morning when I get up. I swear I am driving the nurses crazy, but hey, you have my child...I want to know what he's been up to and how many diapers he's filled and how all the tests are going and what the results are and most importantly...get him ready 'cause here I come to snuggle.

As for me, I'm healing, though there are moments when I can't seem to heal fast enough. I did figure out that ibprophen has become my best friend. I take one and all the pain is gone...all the muscles have relaxed and I can move like a normal person. God does it feel good to get up without feeling like my insides are going to fall out. Beanie is taking everything in stride. I got to snuggle with her last night...that felt oh so good. She even snuggled with me at dinner tonight. I miss that. I miss the playing and the chasing and the bath time and nap time and all that good stuff. I can't wait for the staples to come out...friday 10:30am ....come on friday....I can play with beanie and drive to the hospital to see Jr all by myself...just like a big girl.

Life is getting better every day!

Roller Coaster

Logan now has a scalp IV...in translation...we can't hold him until it comes off. His day nurse is unsure of when that might be, though the swelling in his legs has gone down and he filled 2 diapers over night...that was a huge relief (for everyone).

I was told that it could be days or weeks before the scalp iv comes out. How long can I go before I go insaine from not being able to hold him. From what I gathered, the ther night he was trying to suck on his hand...this is a good sign. He's hungry, I want to be able to hold and feed him...it's a good match all the way around.

The hard part...I still have yet to deal with the full force of the situation. I will be going home and he will not. I love beanie...more than anything in the world, but it's hard to leave a child behind. You want to be able to hold them and tell them that everything is going to be alright...even if they can't understand a signle word you are saying. It's the fact that you are there with them supporting them and loving them, even through the glass.

You have good days...then you have dark days, then you have days when you don't know how to feel so you just smile and wait.

Day 2

So to end a rather rough day...I got a call last night from Michael who informed me that he was in a 3 car pile-up. He was the middle car and thank goodness he drives an SUV. Both the back driver (the one that caused the accident) and the driver infront of Michael went to the hospital. Yes, both Michael and Victoria are doing fine, Michael was a little shaken up, but otherwise he is fine. The car is totalled, but the good news is the the end car has full responsibility and we get a new car seat out of it. From what I gathered from Michael, the insurance company told him to get a new car seat after the accident just to make sure that beanie's old one was not affected.

Michael is running some chores today...like cleaning out the back of his poor car, food shopping and a few other things before he and beanie head over to see myself and Logan. Talk about a rough night!

Anyway, since I was up at 5am this morning, I headed down to NICu to spend some time with Logan. We got to do some kangaroo time, which if you have never done this...it's an amazing feeling. He kept me warm and i returned the favor. It was nice...just mom and baby hanging out together. They tried to intubate him this morning, but he would have nothing to do with it. That's my boy! We took a short nap together (around 1/2 hour) then it was time for me to head back to my room for some sleep of my own. he cried....I can't say that I blame him..going from a warm place out into the cold again....I'd be angry too. The nurse (tracy) turned him first on his side, then onto his tummy where he promptly fell asleep. Must be nice to be able to sleep on your tummy little boy....mommy won't be able to do that for a few weeks. God I miss that part.

So as of right now I am disconnected from everything. No cath., no iv, just me. I even got the chance to take a shower, though just like last time I refuse to look at the staples that I know are looming somewhere below the deflating belly.

So i guess I should relax, put my feet up and take a nap....yeah right....like that'll happen any time soon. I am once again going to march my snails paced bosy over to NICU and spend some more quality time with Jr...nap time anyone?

SURPRISE!

Monday morning I was asked by Dr. Pliskow to check myself into Labor and Delivery at Wellington Hospital as my liver function test had come back higher than normal adding to that I wasn't eating and when I did I wasn't able to keep anything down.

Tusdays tests came back better and it looked as though I would be able to come home, but the one test they ran came back bad telling us that something wicked was on it's way...so I stayed here.

By Wednesday I was once again ready to come home until the blood work came back and was once again climbing up so I had earned myself another night. Thursday night Logan decided to start playing with his cord causing concern for both myself and the nurses. Wednesday night I was given a steroid shot just a precaution, thuesday night I got the final shot and I was happy to have those over with. If you have every had one...you know what i'm talking about.

Friday morning an ultrasound was done in the wee hours of the morning shpwing that Logan had managed to wrap his cord around his neck. I have just earned myself a free ried into an emergency c-section.

So...

We are proud to announce the arrival of Logan Paige Brugger. Born April 4, 2008 at 6:45am. He is 4 ounds 4 ounces and 17 inches long. He is breathing on his own, but as a precaution they have him on oxygen. He is currently in an open crib but will be moving into a isolet for an undetermined anout of time. He is moving and seems to be holding his tep steady. They are going to run some more tests on him to see what's going on in his brain and to monitor his lungs.

We are very hopeful that we will be able to take him home by the end of the month. I know that it will be hard to leave the hospital with out him, but I know that it's for the best and that's where he needs to be.

I am doing well, I am back to eating everything in sight...I missed food, alot. Once again I had to have an emergency c-section that scared the heck out of both Michael and I. We tried to hold onto Logan for as long as possible, but I guess he wanted out.

Yes, I am sore and sleeping periodicaly throughout the day and the feeling is starting to come back to my legs which is very nice, though I will miss the warm feeling i got from the numbing shot for surgery. Michael has been here with me since this morning. Victoria is spending the day with Diane Gutman playing with their dog and swiming. Needless to say I can't wait to be able to hold both kids. I've missed beanie over the last week. The short amount of time that I have been able to spend with both her and Michael has been hard. I can't wait to get home...then we wait for the day that we can take Logan home...then our family will be complete.